12/02/25: Kestrels 4-2 Northampton II
After an unnecessarily early meet at 1:10 for a 4PM KO an hour away from Cambridge, the Kestrels spirits were high after a strong cup performance the week before. The good vibes persisted despite Parish attempting to commit chemical warfare on the coach, eating a bag of pasta (yes bag, not tupperware) with enough garlic in it to commit genocide in Transylvania.
Anyway on to the game, the Kestrels warmed up with usual vigour, and fired out of the gates when the first whistle went. Northampton players’ touches were worse than BG’s at Trumpington after a heavy Lola’s the night before, and they could not deal with the Abhi press. After 10 mins their LB screamed at the bench “I always have two, I don’t know what to do” (Abhi was very happy with this and said it must be in the match report). In normal Parish style a lovely punt up the pitch turned into a great assist after Ebo lobbed the keeper from the edge of the box. This was quickly followed by Ebo getting to his own hand ball flick on and slotting in Ben Cohen, who absolutely shanked it into the bottom corner.
2-0 up the Kestrels got a little ahead of themselves, and Northampton gained a bit of control. After getting into the box and BBL making an unbelievable save, Alex cleared the ball of the line. However the ref, who on the back of giving some horrendous decisions against the Falcs last year, was convinced the ball went in (from 30 metres away). Alex wasn’t particularly happy with this decision, running head first towards the ref which surprisingly saw him getting a sin bin. Not to worry as a bit of tactical tweaking from Abhi saw the Kestrels breeze through to half time with 10 men.
A strong team talk to ignore the ref and not make any excuses cos these lot are shit, was followed again by a strong start. Parish, Toby and TD bossed the back line, Noah and Stan ran rings around their full backs. Ebo claims he got a slight touch as Ben Cohen picked up the ball a few metres into their half and smacked it towards the keeper. After a wild dip under the keepers arms, the Kestrels were 3-1 up and cruising.
However, an easy win was gonna be a bit boring, so after sprinting back to stop a counter attack, a Northampton player threw himself to the floor claiming Tovi hacked him down. Of course the ref agreed and a pen was given and smashed into the top corner (the player was bragging about the dive as the pen was taken). However yet again a Ben Cohen interception saw him face a 3-1 with the Northampton defenders. Lacking a hamstring and thus the speed of 1st year, he punted it again at the near post, and it again went straight through the keeper. This resulted in a giggle of a celebration from Ben Cohen and Ebo, although the Northampton manager apparently said to Alex that if he’s gonna lose a game, that’s a goal he wants to lose to (he might need a trip to Specsavers).
At 4-2 the Kestrels professionally saw off the rest of the game, apart from BG doing the occasional anime reference as he chased after the ball.
Goals - Ebo ⚽️, Ben Cohen ⚽️⚽️⚽️
Assists - Parish 🪄, Ebo 🪄🪄
MOTM - Ben Cohen
DODT - Alex
✍️ Ben Cohen
