04/12/24: Blues 2-2 Birmingham I
FT: Birmingham 2-2 Blues
A. Campbell (14’)
J. Riley (90+1’)
As the Blues walked out to the Red Hot Chilli Peppers on Wednesday, it might have dawned on them they weren’t the first that day to stride out onto the Astro with game faces on, ready for battle. Less than 15 minutes before, the UoB Battle Reenactment Society had, in a quite surreal state of affairs, performed, in full costume, a mock battle that looked like it was taken straight out of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But the fever dream was over in the blink of an eye, and normal service quickly resumed. And, steadfast against the distractions of axes and chainmail, the boys got off to a blistering start. After fewer than 15 minutes, Asa was pulled back on the left hand touchline and Deniz had the opportunity to swing a dipping cross to test Birmingham’s backline. What should have been an easy claim for the keeper, however, proved anything but as a spillage was pounced on by Reece and the looping ball was tactfully slid into the net by Asa. After endearing themselves to many in light blue by slagging off the Oxf*rd Blues and their former captain, the Brum commentators immediately lost all respect by howling for offside, and then deciding our varsity kit was ‘horrid’. Notwithstanding simply moronic takes like this, the game plan continued to be executed perfectly, with Deniz clipping one just over the bar after being set away by Tristan. Birmingham were frustrated, and this was soon perfectly exemplified by their Number 9 wiping out Pearcey in an incident that can only be described as the worst case of GBH since Roy Keane saw ‘Haaland’ on the opposing teamsheet. An elbow to the head completely off the ball wiped Ben out cold, and triggered an early sub for OJ.
Mr Ozer featured again less than five minutes later with a snorting free kick that clanged off the upright, but it was a long ball from the Brum left back that altered the game. OJ was cynically pulled over, triggering an easy card. An unrepeatable earful followed and the ref looked uncertain, but a helpful reminder about dissent from OJ brought the card out again, and suddenly, Brum were down to 10.
It looked like the half was fizzling out, causing the commentators to investigate the apparent scandal of Asa not buying a Secret Santa gift for an unknown ‘Sam Bayman’. A moment of concentration loss from the boys, however, was punished by Brum as a cutback went across the back line and was slammed into the corner from the edge of the 18 yard box on the stroke of half time.
The start of the second period coincided with the return of Cai, who was immediately presented with a chance that flashed just wide after being set through. Minutes later, an innocuous venture forward from the Brum captain edged closer to the Cambridge goal before he decided to let rip, the ball skipping past a diving Aram.
Undeterred, the boys pushed in the second half, with Josiah and Mylo providing fresh legs from the bench. Commentating continued to be at a poor level, with discussions of Josiah’s beard, Hicksy’s hairline and an unknown ‘HazardE10’ who kept popping up in the chat and backing the boys in Blue 🤔 One moment of magic is all it needed though, and that is certainly what we got. After AK was wiped out by the touchline in the 91st minute, Deniz had the opportunity to swing another in. An unconvincing header from Brum fell to Josiah, who on the volley sidefooted perfectly into the top corner to cue dead silence on the sidelines. The full time whistle shortly came, and the points were shared.
A well-earned break greets the Blues, and 4 points against Brum 1s is certainly not to be sniffed at. Roll on next term, and roll on Varsity.
UTFB, IFLCUAFC, GDBO x
Goals: Asa Campbell, Josiah Riley
Assists: Josh Hick (1)
✍️: Oli Johnson
