22/01/25: Falcs 5-2 Brooksby Melton I

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this afternoon the falcons soared into the wilderness of Brooksby Melton #wherearewe?. Teni sprayed his kit on, Boris played questionable tunes and Ujj took a s**t. The boys were ready. After warming up on the farmers fields (still better than Queens) we graced the Astro (better than Trumpington).

The Falcs started off hot bopping the ball about, the Melton mandem could not catch their breath. George received some questionable but true abuse; ‘fatty’, ‘lump’ and Boris stated ‘he only jogs.’ Embracing these comments George gobbled up a pass from Roddy aka Ronnie (Clark, 2025) and finally tucked away the first chance of the game. 1-0 Falcs. A second soon followed, moving through a quick passage of play from Isaac and Roddy with Cam channeling his inner bov 🥶(Cole Palmer’s his idol) and he slotted it in the far corner. Ten minutes also passed by where Brooksby continued to spectate a Falcs possession drill before Isaac struck a David Luiz like rocket which bursted into the top left hand corner 🚀. Some shouts that it should’ve been saved and that the keeper was mid (Durrani, 2025). A few minutes later their defender wanted to swap shirts with Roddy but the ref was having none of it. Penalty for the Falcs. ‘Hungry’ for another chance George buried it. Brooksby woke up and scored a scrappy goal before halftime. Halftime 4-1.

Utilising the whole bench CARLo Ancelotti swapped the front 3. The second half started quietly with neither team holding possession but a lucky 50/50 gave their striker a half chance who in all fairness put away a good finish. Thomas and Ebo exploited their full backs and created chance after chance which was finally rewarded when DFL buried a header back across the box from Ebo. Top goal scorer? Like an episode of Coronation Street the game ended with some interesting drama. Firstly, Ross snapped their 10 after being rolled as per 👍🏻. Secondly, Boris after realising the game was getting boring decided to get cramp and watch the last 15 with Carl. Thirdly, after getting withdrawals from his lost Mary Ebo also decided he needed a rest cause his lungs gave up on him. We wish him well 👼. The Falcs saw out the game with 9 men as Boris forgot roll on roll off subs stopped at u10’s. 5-2 W onto the next. #utff #utfcuafc #maccieswassourcedonwayhome

Goals: George Clark (2), Cam Kerr, Isaac Ogunyemi, Dan Lofts

Assists: Roddy Simpson (2), Isaac Ogunyemi, Ebo Aneju

✍️: George Clark